you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
