i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
