We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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