what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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