remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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