She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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