Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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