Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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