Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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