My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize