In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize