he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
