hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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