so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
