I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
