There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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