is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
