i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
