i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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