I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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