i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
