is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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