You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i just had sex bonerless
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
