I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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