Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
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You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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