I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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