We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
