Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
