Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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