Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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