you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
