just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
