She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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