oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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