He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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