I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
