Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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