I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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