Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
