I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
