Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
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after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Rumble strips road head = magical
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Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top