Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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