did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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