i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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