dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
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I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
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I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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