I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize