How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
