Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
