I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
