oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
