I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
