I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
