I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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