How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
