So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
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Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
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He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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