I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
