woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
