Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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