actually, I'm a sock model
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
