i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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