it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
