I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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