i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
